Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Beyoncé and Jay Z, now Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, trouble is raining in paradise for some famous couples, but how they choose to handle their breakup could mean a make or break for their careers (for those who have a career). In order to not isolate their fans, celebrity couples have to tread the breakup line very carefully. Go too hard on your ex, and you come across as bitter and vindictive. Deny the persistent breakup rumors while your IG account no longer has pics of your bae, and you come across as a lying manipulator. In order to make the public feel your pain, you can’t break up like a celebrity. You have to do it like normal people. The following are five ways to break up like normal folks
1. Don’t issue a statement through your publicist.
Face it. That’s not normal behavior. Your PR person should handle your business matters. Having your your publicist comment on your private life is a bit creepy, especially when you have Twitter and IG account. Speak to your public directly on Twitter and Facebook in random brain farts and heartache rants. After all, that’s what normal people do.
2. Don’t issue your pending ex a gag order
This is not normal behavior. The best part of celebrity breakups is watching them go back and forth at each order in the media and on social media. Do not deny your fans of this much needed entertainment. This draws them closer to you and make us feel like you’re one of us. A gag order is so one percenter. Remember, your fans are 99 percenters. We expect you to rise down to our level.
3. Don’t go silent on social media
When y’all were in love, you couldn’t stop posting love pics on Instagram. Now that you hate each other’s guts, your fans expect to share this moment of love war with you. Don’t deny them delusional subtweets about your soon to be ex-bae. Go on Twitter and IG and share random breakup poetry or Taylor Swift lyrics so we know the breakup is real.
4. Let your BFF be your verbal assassin
It’s a tough time for you. Your emotions are all over the place, but you have a career and image to maintain. You can’t afford to go full on cray but your BFF can. You can’t stoop low and having your publicist speak on your behalf is so corporate. No one likes a corporate communication specialist on Twitter or IG. Do like the rest of America and have your BFF take verbal shots at your new ex. That’s what best friends do. Having a best friend who would go full cray for you makes you just like the rest of us.
5. Take the high road while hitting low blows
Speak for yourself. Address the breakup like normal Americans but with the subtle jab of a cunning word smith with childlike innocence. Talk about it. Remember, America likes when you share your pain. Show sadness, strength and vulnerability without being over the top or too militant. Take the high road and don’t throw your ex under the bus, directly. Let your public see your strength and positivity while letting them know how you survived a relationship with the devil himself without using your ex’s name. And always say, “no shade.”