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Has someone you love or really like ever asked you for a job or personal reference, and you were hesitant to provide it? Not that you didn’t like this person, but you probably honestly believed she was either unfit, unqualified or unprepared to do the job she was asking you to put your name and reputation on the line for. What did you do? Did you give her the reference out of love, likability and then cross your fingers that she didn’t mess it up and take your name and reputation down with her? Or did you honestly tell her that you couldn’t cosign for her to get a job you knew she was presently unable or unprepared to perform?

When I initially heard about the separation of Maria Shriver and former governor Arnold ‘I need Google to spell his last name’ Schwarzenegger, I, like most Americans, felt bad for her. It’s never a good thing when you hear of a married couple separating, unless you have some hidden issues about love. I felt bad for her. What she ever saw in him, I personally never understood, but who am  to judge the choices of the heart. After 25 years of marriage, I was hoping she’d be the one Kennedy to have a solid working marriage, though signs were there early on that Arnold had a problem keeping his hands off the ladies.

During his election campaign, there were reports of him groping women, which he initially denied and later gave a weired apology, “I have behaved badly.”  I remember thinking, “boys behave badly; you have some issues, brah.” But America, mainly, the wonderful people of California were able to look past his alleged bad behavior because standing next to him was his well-behaved, well-respected and well-liked wife, Maria Shriver.  While, we all had our reservations about the action hero dude who didnt care to properly pronouce the name of the state he was running to represent, we saw Maria and somehow knew everything would be alright because Maria wouldn’t support him in his run to be governor if she didn’t feel he was politically and personally fit, equipped and ready to do the job.

According to the LA Times, “his behavior became an issue during his first campaign for governor, in the 2003 recall election, when more than a dozen women said he had groped them over a period of many years. Schwarzenegger at first denied the allegations, then apologized. Shriver offered a timely and politically crucial defense of her husband, vouching for his personal integrity.”

Even if we didn’t like him, we adored her. Even if we didn’t trust him, we trusted her. The woman who worked as a journalist for NBC News and heads so many charities; the woman who stands for integrity endoresed him on every front. So we accepted him, and California voted for him, not once but twice.

Now we learn that the former governor of California not only cheated on his wife but fathered a child with a household staff member right under her nose. While the country feels bad for Maria, I’m not ready to break out the tissue and cry for Maria. My heart goes out to her four children. Did Maria deserve his reprehensible actions? Absolutly not. No one deserves such aborant behavior perpetrated on them. However, Maria has to assume some level of responsibility.

She told the people of California and America that we could trust him, when she didn’t or shouldn’t have trusted him. She said he was fit professionally, politically and personally to lead the great state of California, when he wasn’t and proved he wasn’t, in and out of the governor’s mansion. Had she not been standing by his side legitimizing his capabilities and integrity, he would have never been elected governor.

I’m upset and disappointed with Shriver for the same reason I’m upset and disappointed with Sen. McCain.  Sen. McCain knew Sarah Pailn was unfit, unprepared and unqualified to be a heartbeat away from manager of fries at McDonald’s let alone, president of the United States. Yet in making her his running mate, he vouched for her. He legitimized her. I will forever blame McCain for unleashing Palin on America.

When Elin Nordegren found out that Tiger was a habitual prowler, she refused to stand at his side during the staged press conference. She was not going to put on a public face of support or show of solidarity and cosign Tiger’s reckless behavior. Just like you and I would not give a stealing friend a reference to work at Macy’s. Though she’s never been convicted, we know she has sticky fingers and wouldn’t want to not only tarnish our name, but we wouldn’t want her to get in a position where she could do a lot of damage to herself by being placed in position that would only expose her weaknesses.

Arnold has been reckless for awhile, and Maria has stood by him, defending him therefore validating his behavior and actions. She gave him the most important reference for the job of governor and husband. Maria sold America the Arnold loving husband act. We bought it. Now, she can’t take it back.