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College football game-day can be fun, awesome and wonderfully nerve-wrecking, but if you invite the wrong family member or friend, it can be out-right annoying.  As a college football mom, during the game, my focus is the game and nothing but the game. Whether your kid, sibling or spouse is playing, when it comes to which family and friends you have accompanying you on game day, you have to be very selective.  There are friends you have dinner with, sip tea with and go shopping with, but when it comes to watching your kid play college football, some friends and family members need to stay home. Yes, you still love and care about them. They just don’t need to accompany you on game day.

The following are five types of guests that need to no longer accompany you on game-day.

1. Guests who talk too much during the game

I like talking like the next person but when the game starts, I don’t want to be held hostage by random, empty and unnecessary conversations. This is no time to have a dialogue about shopping, your kids, your job or your ex. I don’t want to hear it. If you can’t stop talking to me during the game, your first game will also be your last.

For the Maryland game last season, my husband invited his friend whom we hadn’t seen in more than 13 years. Do you know dude wanted to use game time to catch up on 13 years!? Ain’t nobody got time for that! Oh and he had the nerve to wear a navy blue top. His explanation? “I wanted to stay neutral.” Boy, bye.

2. Guests who ask too many questions during the game

I’m a very patient woman who enjoys helping people and enlightening the public, but when I come to see our Buckeyes play, I don’t wish to answer any questions. So don’t ask me what’s happening, what’s a third down and are we on offense? I’m not here to clarify the role of special teams or the difference between a punter and a kicker. Don’t ask me anything. This is not a classroom. It’s game day, and your continuous confusion is not my problem. You can get all your questions answer during the next game while you’re watching from your home and hitting Google.

3. Guests who are not supportive during the game

I don’t want to hear how bad you think another player is. He may not be my son, but he’s someone’s son and he’s my son’s teammate and brother. Because I have a kid on the team, I consider all the guys my son. You cannot come to our game and bad mouth another player. Doing this makes you a former guest.

You also cannot trash our coaches. You don’t know anything about us. Plus by trashing our coaches means you’re not cheering and if you’re not cheering, you’re not helping, and if you’re not helping, you’re annoying. Save your shade for when you’re watching the game at home the following week in the confines of your home.

4. Guests who fall asleep during the game

When you agreed to come to the game, you knew it was an 8 o’clock game. Beginning of the first quarter and you’re sound asleep, taking up space from someone who would’ve loved to enjoy every waking moment of this game. But instead, sleeping beauty is knocked out. You can catch up on your sleep next week while you’re watching the game at home, tucked in.

5. Guests who don’t dress appropriately for the game

You knew it was going to be 27 degrees when you left your house or hotel room. Your failure to plan will not be my emergency during the game. I don’t want to hear how cold you are during the game when you showed up wearing only a hoodie. Your blue lips and frostbite fingers will not stop me from enjoying the game. If you don’t know how to check the weather and dress appropriately, you will become a former guest. I’m not missing the second half of the game because you decided to die of pneumonia.