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It’s Christmas time and there are a lot of you out there buying your friends and family gifts not out of mere love, but you’re hoping to get something back from them. You may say, “That is so presumptuous and unfair to say!” Really? Well how do feel when you do not get a gift in return? Your response always displays your motives. Everyone wants friendships with benefits.

I don’t do obligatory friendships. They’re like a sorority or fraternity you never signed up for. I like to give outta the heart not outta requirement. If you give me something, I’ll say thank you but don’t expect a card in mail. Just not my thing; plus I hate going to the post office. Don’t leave me voicemails. I will only listen to them when I’m clearing my messages.

I’ve never allowed myself to get too close to people because often they expect way too much. “I called you. You didn’t call me back. I sent you a gift you didn’t call and gush for hours about it.” It’s just too much for me. I’m in one committed relationship on earth, that’s with the man I married. Anything else is a bit too restrictive for me. I have one great friend from high school. He’s awesome! We can go a whole year without communicating and have a great time at lunch. No strings. No “why haven’t you called me all year.”

I have wonderful women acquaintances and friends whom I enjoy. We laugh for hours. I don’t get upset if they don’t invite me to a party or event. I get annoyed only when they make ridiculous excuses like, “I thought you were busy.” What? Just say, “We really didn’t want to invite you.” I always respect honesty. There are times when I don’t feel like seeing them as well; so I can totally relate.

I don’t have BFFs. Too restrictive. I like who I like. I’m pretty unfiltered so I can’t be around everyone, and everyone doesn’t get me. I don’t like when one friend tries to push her friend on me. If you like her that’s great. She may be annoying the hair on my big toe. I just like to flow. Enough with the ulterior motives or benefits requirements. Enjoy folks in the moment for who they are and how they make you feel, not for what they can give you or how well they follow your rules. Plus, no one has time to remember your rules anyway.