When we’re young, even in our teen years, our moms’ advice, wisdom and support are priceless. Her insights into life, love and everything in between brought us life and was a constant refuge for our randomness. We love mom for that. She’s irreplaceable, but there comes a time when the most loving mom may become oh let’s say a bit meddlesome. I know. It sounds blasphemous.
You can’t talk about a mom that way. That’s the woman who allowed us to invade her body for nine months and steal her youthful years. She’s the epitome of selflessness and sainthood. True. But when you’re a grown up, and mom is all over your business, she can be a pain in ass. (Hi mom. Love you). Sounds harsh but for many adults, mom is simply the founder and CEO of Team Doing Too Much. The following are circumstances and times when you have to tell mom to take a step back without getting Cookie slapped.
Matters of the Heart
Moms want us to find love and live happily ever after. The problem is when mom wants us to find happiness with who she likes for us. If your mom is trying to tell you who you should date, she’s overstepping her bounds. As long as you’re in a emotionally healthy relationship, mom should be happy for you. But don’t sass mom. After all, you haven’t always made the best choices regarding matters of the heart. So simply remind mom that she’s given you the tools to discover and find love. Now she must trust you to use those tools on your own. But don’t go crying every five minutes to mom and then tell her to mind her own business. Moms have a easy time jumping from sappy to slappy.
So you’re tired of mom telling you how to spend your hard earned money. Perhaps she thinks you’re paying too much for rent, your mortgage is too high or you need to make more money or start spending less. Unless she’s your accountant, your mom shouldn’t have too much input in your money matters. Welcome her advice and feedback because she knows a bit more, but remind her it’s a consultation not a dictation. But don’t get sassy. Unemployment is high, and you don’t know when you may be in between jobs. Simply remind mom that she’s given you the tools and has modeled fiscal responsibility; she must now trust you to use those tools and examples to financially make it on your own.
Matters of Personal Choices
As kids, mom picked out our clothes and decided what we’d eat for dinner and which friends could sleepover. As adults, our decisions and choices must remain our decisions and choices. While mom’s feedback is helpful when solicited, her constant demands to have a say in your adult life is not helpful, wanted or needed. If your mom keeps poking and prying into your personal choices and affairs, you have to tell your mom to mind her business. But don’t sass mom. Simply remind her that she did a pretty good job raising you, and she must now trust you to make your own choices and mistakes, and that her continued meddling could be a sign that she doesn’t trust the job she did the first 18 years of your life.
Your Family Matters
I know your mom raised the greatest kids to ever run the playground and rule the world, but when it comes to how you raise your kids, that has to be between you and your spouse or the other parent, if you’re a single parent. Want advice on getting the baby to sleep through the night? Ask mom. Want advice on how to talk to your teens about certain matters? Ask mom. But when it comes to how you take care of your family and run your household, that is your responsibility and your domain. Mom should discern the difference between you asking her for advice and her wanting to run your home. But don’t sass mom. Simply remind her that she’s given you the tools to be a great parent, and she now must trust you to use those tools to manage your own household, or else you all will come and live with her. Face it. Mom is not about that life.