About ten years ago, my daily prayer was “Lord Jesus, I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” Not about the future or anything, anyone. That was my daily prayer. I didn’t ask for anything but that. I realized that whatever I needed would have to start with me not being afraid. I couldn’t achieve anything with fear as lingering bully.
I wanted unshakable peace and joy. When you pray for this, the storms and tsunami of pain come your way. But I’ve learned it’s not about being strong in the storm. It’s about letting Jesus be my strength. It’s about trusting Him when you feel you have no one to trust. It’s letting Him be your constant companion. It’s about trusting Him with your future and your emotions. When you fall short, it’s about letting him pick you up. I’m no longer afraid about the future or anything anyone can do to me because Jesus is my protector, my provider, my promise keeper. I’m no longer afraid of making mistakes. I feel no pressure to live by the expectations of others. I’m fine with being me, at times awkward and inappropriate. I’m finally comfortable and at peace knowing a relationship with Christ isn’t supposed to imprison you but liberate you to be the person He created you to be. The goal is never perfection but sanctification, which is a process, and authenticity which is the daily goal.
I’m not afraid of failure because I know that success is contentment and confidence in the person God created me to be. When I hurt, I don’t run away from Him but I run to Him with all my pain and confusion. In storms, he’s my peace, my focus, my reason for living. I tell Him my deepest desires, no longer withholding them from him. I cry to him and He hears and comforts me. He loves me not because I’m a good person. He loves me because that’s who He is.
In this moment, I stand grateful and strong, forever unafraid because Jesus is my peace.